“One of Us! One of Us! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!”
Why I Refuse to Use Buck Angel’s Preferred Pronouns
Buck Angel is an unapologetic, charmingly rebellious YouTuber who uses he/him pronouns and has become one of the most unexpected voices in the gender debate.
Buck transitioned when she was a full-grown woman, well into her thirties, and did the full medical-surgical shabang—except her she-bang, if you know what I mean. She’s uncomfortable with the idea of genital surgery and doesn’t think phalloplasties are safe. She’s clear about never hiding the truth of her sex, and that nobody should be allowing children to transition—full stop.
She checks all my “sex realist” boxes there. But that’s not why I’m a big fan of her.
It’s because she’s such a good interviewer, no like—really really good! She navigates some of the most tricky, triggering, and contentious topics with the skill set of a hostage negotiator while somehow staying the class clown the whole time.
I don’t know how she strikes that balance of keeping it so entertaining while also knowing that she has some of the most traumatized and marginalized people ever on her show and that these subjects are often dead serious.
It’s a rare combination of sincere and silly. Like salted caramel or peanut butter and chocolate. You get the idea. I’m hungry for a treat now.
Buck brings out the best in her guests. She also handles their vulnerability with care.
She’s also quite funny. Her laugh cracks me up. And she’s PROLIFIC, like posting content non-stop. I’m actually a little worried about her real-life family. Do they miss her? Do they have to prop an iPad up at the dinner table just to get some face time with her? Or are they the ones who’ve locked her in a studio in the basement? That’s the thing about internet—we’ll never know.
If we’re being real right now, and you can count her laugh in this theory… it’s probably the testosterone she’s shooting up that gives her the drive.
I’m kidding! She’d probably chuckle at that because that’s the other thing…
Buck can take a roast—which is pretty critical considering how much she dishes it.
Truthfully, I don’t care as much for her “calling out crazy trans-identified people” reaction videos, even though I do understand the purpose and importance of them—and she does it as well as anyone can. They’re just not enjoyable for me to watch. I think most of these people who are acting outrageous are mentally ill, and it can feel like a “kicking a man when he’s down” or Jerry Springer-sorta situation.
However! The impact of her voice cannot be underestimated. She is a gateway to sanity for so many people on the hard LGBTQ+ left who may not listen to any voice on the topic of transgenderism unless it’s from the mouth of a self-confessed “tranny.”
She is also one of the few representatives of people we actually know in our lives, workplaces, and communities.
Outside the internet, there are so many “Bucks” by different names.
This notion of “oh, we mustn’t platform someone like that because people will see this lifestyle as a possibility”—
Well, so many people—far, far worse people—fall into that category.
Buck doesn’t glorify her choices or body; she’s grounded in reality.
YouTube is a place where regular, ordinary, ugly, fat, poor, plastic, rich, everyday Joes can go and spew off a couple of opinions or two. That’s WHY I like it. That’s why it has power. It’s actually a step forward from legacy media.
Do I care that Buck did porn? No. Do I care that her content is controversial? Hell no. Bring on the controversy, I say!
Do I wish Buck would “get with the times” a little more and ditch her male pronouns and drop her “I live my life as a man” schtick?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Why? Because in every way, shape, or form, everyone who knows her and loves her (and I truly believe this) and why she is so successful in this space—is because she is female. I think people know this on a primal-level and feel safe with her because of it.
I grew-up completely surrounded by lesbians, butch ones especially. My mother was active in women’s centres and organizations and I went with her to everything. And I’m telling you - 90’s feminist events were on the regular, and lit. To this day my favourite one was where we all dressed up like suffragettes and marched in the town’s parade, the local theatre donated period wardrobes from their costume department and getting fitted was a highlight to me. We sewed silky purple and green sashes and painted “votes for women!” signs.
The “take back the night” marches were epic too! My siblings and I got to stay up way past our bedtimes. We definitely didn’t feel unsafe with all the dykes marching with us, making joyful cheers and chants. The wild dances, open-mic nights and so many pot-lucks, the pita and hummus stereotype is real, but the BBQ was just as good.
My little brain formed in a world where clothing and breast appearance (or lack-there-of) and performative masculine mannerisms communicated a certain kind of woman. Not a man. To this day, a beard and a flat chest just isn’t enough to get my brain on board with my mouth. It feels counter-intuitive to my experience of all of Buck and everyone like her, that the he/him just doesn’t want to come out.
To be blunt (like Buck), I sorta want to keep her here—with us. As a woman. As a super butch bi-sexual. I don’t want to let her identify away from us.
What did we do to have you leave our womanhood coven, Buck, sweet angel? What did we ever do? We’re sooo sorrry *sobs* come back to usss, come baaaAaaAack!!!
But I realize that it’s actually not about me, and like her or hate—her or him—Buck is an amazing force in this “trans debate” space and knows what she’s/he’s doing.
And if it hasn’t been made clear by me so far, I transparently admit I don’t fully understand the transsexual impulse to mimic the opposite sex to such an extreme extent. Perhaps I’ll never understand, so please forgive any ignorance.
What I really want to say is—Forever a Buck fan, refusing to call her he, for selfish reasons.
I just don’t have it in me to let the men have her as one of them when to me— she is one of us.
That was the awesomest most well-intentioned misgendering I've ever read! The only reason I disagree is because HE'S OURS NOW!!! Mwah-ha-ha!
Sincerely,
A gay dude
I love Buck too 🥰 and I totally understand your desire to keep them on our team.
Buck is such an important voice in this craziness.